I lived and worked in Manhattan when I was twenty one, and ever since I have always had a love/hate relationship with New York. I loved the excitement of the night life, being surrounded by a melting pot of different cultures and the opportunities that seemed to be around every corner. The flip side to that was how overwhelmed I felt by the constant rush of it all. I never felt truly happy nor at peace living there - dwarfed by the buildings, the constant noise and the over-crowded streets. It left me feeling anxious and searching for a place that would bring me a sense of peace.
The city that never sleeps didn't disappoint as I arrived to what felt like a heightened case of insomnia! There was the familiar noise of surround sound traffic, private conversations spilling out from every corner and endless streams of people frantically trying to get to where they were going.
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This was the Manhattan I remembered and the perfect ingredients for an overwhelming assault on the senses; a far cry from the peace, calm and tranquility I had discovered on the beautiful deserted island, just off the coast of Thailand, only a few months earlier.The next morning I awoke to the hectic, extroverted, insomniac who was clearly enticing me to join in. With its bright lights and rush of energy pulling me into the eye of the storm, I walked around expecting the familiar negative feelings to surface. After a while however, I started to notice I was feeling the same sense of peace and calm that I had felt in Thailand.
It seemed strange being that theses two islands are at polar opposites with one another! The bright neon lights of Times Square compared to the golden morning sun that shimmered like glitter across the ocean. The sound of car horns and crowds that surrounded and occupied every bit of breathing space available, versus the sound of the waves lapping quietly at the shore with only the distant hum of a fishing boat on its way home. The cold winter wind that became increasingly more so as the day turned to night was the opposite to the balmy blanket of tropical warmth that allowed little clothing and a great does of vitamin D! Yes the two islands couldn't have been more different if they tried, but I discovered that somehow I felt the same on both.
As I thought about it, I realized that this had less to do with where I was geographically and more to do with the place I have come to within myself.
Unshaken by my hectic surroundings as I once was, I felt the same amount of wonder, gratitude and peace as I did when I was on the deserted island. Finally I understood the true meaning of the quote that I have loved for all these years! Yes there will be times when our surroundings will dictate how we feel inside, but if we really take the time to know who we are internally, then regardless of our external, ever changing, unpredictable adventure that is life - we'll always have a consistent, quiet and safe place to go that's ever present, all knowing and at peace know matter where we are in life.
Knowing who you are is so important. It helps to create balance, calm and a deeper sense of happiness through out life. In my opinion, taking the time to nurture the relationship with yourself through meditation, time alone or just doing what you love is priceless and will allow you to get to a place where you will always be at peace, no matter where you are.
I know that over the last few years, my deeper understanding and sense of who I am, has allowed me to get to this place where I can finally trust myself and that all will be okay... whether on a deserted island or in a crowded city, I discovered on this trip that the peace and calm I was searching for all those years ago was within me all along. As long as I stay truly connected to who I am, there it will always remain... and for that I am truly grateful!
This was a beautiful lesson to have experienced first hand on my travels, but you can find it right here, right now... And if you already have, how wonderful! :)
With love and light always.x
